Breaking News: “Automatic Messaging”

August 20, 2007

Due to recent discoveries by leading linguists, software engineers at the University of Toronto are developing Automatic Messaging software. “What we’ve discovered is that there are roughly 5 IM (instant messaging) conversations that people have” saidTracy McMillan, head of linguistic studies, at a recent press conference detailing the new software. John Claverty, head of the software engineering program, continued “the key was to find ways to save time for the young people of today. I felt bad for them, having 15 conversations going at once, trying to keep all their friends happy. Dealing with drama” he continued, “We’ve created software based on keywords that automatically provides responses to common questions like, Sup? Huh? WTF? Allowing young people more time to focus on things like studying.”

What is most interesting about this development program is a rare show of cooperation between an Arts faculty and a Science faculty. At a campus already fractured by its college system this move goes a long way towards reconciliation. “It says to the arts colleges, if the liberal arts and sciences can get along, why can’t one Art college get along with another?” Says McMillan.

In other news, squirrels attack philosophy major student, thinking he’s nuts.

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